Funny Weddings Readings

Maybe I’m just a quirky sort of person, but I love it when people do things with a dash of humor. Especially at weddings, which usually are loaded with emotion, and sometimes family squabbles to boot. I don’t think most brides and grooms realize at the outset quite how exhausting it is to plan a wedding, and once the big day comes, many are so worn out and overcome by emotion, that an overly serious and somber reading puts them over the edge and they start sobbing uncontrollably. Humor to the rescue!

Finding a humorous wedding reading (that is not in bad taste) isn’t all that easy, but below are a few of my favorites (all are not laugh out loud funny, but sweet, and spot on):

Your looks intoxicate me,
Even though your folks hate me,
There’s no one like you Elenore really,
Elenore gee I think you’re swell,
And you really do me well,
You’re my pride and joy etcetera.”
The Turtles “Elenore”

The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman’s point of view that men are all the same, so we might as well dress them that way. That’s why a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over, and she marries the next guy.
Jerry Seinfeld

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Billy Crystal

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.
Carrie, Sex & The City

“Do you, Marge, take Homer, in richness and in poorness” –poorness is underlined — “in impotence and in potence, in quiet solitude or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet-powered, monkey-navigated”… [consults the notecards] … and it goes on like this.
Homer Simpson

For more inspiration, research music lyrics, quotes from other funny and witty people such as Mark Twain, Winston Churchill, Groucho Marx, or TV shows.

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